24

To look into my eyes, and know what I am thinking about.

To hear my voice, and know exactly how I feel.

To move into everything so fast, yet it feels right.

To have all preconceptions set aside, without feeling panic or disorientation.

To hear those words, and finally having comprehension of it's meaning.

Sometimes, life really surprises you.
Everything, good or bad, is possible.

My Unfortunate Encounter with Religious Fanatics

I have had various new encounters here. Some were interesting, some educational, some maybe a little dangerous. This definitely falls under the 'annoying' category.

It began with my search for temporary accomodation in Melbourne. I finally secured a great place for two weeks. Well, not so great as I later found out, but that is a story for another day. I got in contact with S through email, but we never met each other when I first arrived due to conflicting schedules.

After I moved to my new place, S called, saying that it was a shame we never met. She invited me to her place for dinner, I thought sure, why not.

Turns out....the place wasn't a regular home, but some sort of temple/lodge. Fine. We had dinner, and chatted a bit. They seemed very pleased that I am a vegetarian. For some reason, that annoyed me. I am vegetarian by personal choice, and it is not prompted by religion. It does not imply that we are of the same 'kind', nor does it mean that I am willing to accept all your ideologies.

After dinner, one of the members (I shall refer to them as members, because IMHO it seems a bit cult-like) sat me down, and showed me a folder with teachings and articles. From what I gathered they follow some sort of Buddhism, but rely on teachings compiled by somebody. That's alright I thought, similar to Confucianism. But then, she started going on about how you can draw a certain Chinese character/drawing in the text, and the words in the drawn image forms a poem. Seriously? Is that supposed to impress me? More importantly, is that what inspires people to join this 'religion'?

And then came lyrics. The supposedly meaningful lyrics. S exclaimed how she loved the songs, and I had to sit through several of them, and pretend to show interest as they sang along. Sweet mother.

They asked me what sort/sect of Buddhism I belonged to. In my opinion, Buddhism is a way of life. I don't have to belong to a certain sect or school of thought. If I had to define my religion, I'd say it's the most 'general' form of Buddhism. One of them responded with an amazingly biased and uneducated comment. She said that the various mantras such as the Great Compassion Mantra are translated from Sanskirt, whereas their teachings are directly from Mandarin, hence it is more 'pure'. I was rendered speechless.

What really infuriated me was that they ASSUMED, or felt that I SHOULD join their religion. One of them told me with a serious face that I had to come to the temple once a week to learn. That it was IMPORTANT. I would like to decide what is deemed important for myself, thank you very much. It also struck me that I knew more about the uni and life in Melbourne even though they have lived here for about 3 years. Just goes to show how closed-up they made their worlds become. Warning bells? Definitely.

Fast-forward to one month later. I made it quite clear that I wasn't really interested, and had a very busy schedule. One thing was certain: I would never set foot into the temple again, because I knew that they would try to 'suck me in'. One problem remained; there were two books in my possession, which I borrowed only to stop their verbal avalanche. Having no choice, I agreed to meet S at uni to return the books, and close this uncomfortable chapter for good.

S did not come alone. She brought along a religious teacher. Who again was pleased that I am a vegetarian. I was showing all possible signs of uninterest, but they sat there and attempted to pave through the awkwardness of the situation. The last straw for me was when the teacher said "Even though you have a busy schedule, you have to find spare time to come to the temple. You can exchange thoughts and discuss teachings with the others."

It makes my blood boil when people assume they know what's best for you. Who are you to say what I should be doing during my spare time? Even if I managed to find time, that would be the last place I'd want to be.

I stood up, said I needed to go, and left in what I hope was a rude fashion. I've barred all the telephone numbers, and I can only hope that they have FINALLY gotten my message.

I ranted about this, and someone directed me to this photo. It sums up my opinion towards this 'sensitive' topic.

On realising my priorities

Instead of asking "So, is the pay good?", I am more curious to know "Are you happy?"

The Journey: Part I

So many things have happened thay I wanted to write about, but I resisted to keep the chronological order of things. The most arduous part of any task is to begin. But I shall try.

I actually googled 'how to prevent crying during farewells', because tears come to me too easily. One method is to take deep, long breaths. Well, the entire day was spent taking deep, long breaths; I felt as though I was practicing yoga.

0630
The day started with a walk at Taman Tun, an activity which became a family affair since Kota Kinabalu. As I walked in the darkness before dawn, I saw my parents join hands in the shadows behind me. If I could freeze that moment, I would. Ah, from that moment on, it was nothing but deep yoga breaths.

1030
Received a phone call from KYM, but she sobbed before we managed to have a proper conversation.

1300
Ate my favourite zhap fan...mmmmmm.

1630
HM, KYM, YS, Jack and Long2 came to say their final goodbyes. Mum was cleaning the store room, and she ran upstairs when the door bell rang, exclaiming that she didn't prepare any ang paus. Also discovered that I would be flying from LCCT, not KLIA (haha).

1815
We left the house. The dogs gathered around the car, as if they sensed that something was different. I didn't say a proper goodbye to Suzy, in fear that I would break down in tears.

2100
Yen Yee etc came to send me off, am quite touched by that. Ming-ming's face litarally lit up when he heard that he could order something from McD's. The boy ate a prosperity burger value meal even though he just had dinner!

2140
A tearful goodbye, but not as flooded as I imagined it to be. Final phone call was from Susan.

2200
To those that were wondering, I was seated next to a guy on the plane. Not an old man like I predicted, but a young, tattooed one. Too bad he fell asleep the moment he sat down.

2210
Already know that I am doomed. Two kids are seated in close vicinity, and one of them is intent on screaming her head off. What I would like is to duct tape that wailing mouth of hers.

0000
Another screaming brat located in front of me. Kids should be quarantined in sound-proof cubicles during flights. Two young girls in ridiculous cowgirl boots just walked past. I will never let my future children wear such ugly apparel.

8 Days and Counting

Today, an angel prayed at my bedside.

My kind of C's

So I went for my medical checkup the other day.

After it was done, I was waiting for the bus, when three ladies approached me. The introduced themselves to me, and I noticed that they were wearing Christian badges. I went uh-oh! in my head, and did the whole shifty-eyed, i'm not interested in chatting with you look.

Surprisingly, they did not mention anything about religion even once. Instead, they asked a few questions for a survey, and were really nice. I guess I am just too used of people trying to shove their opinions down my throat. Those people obviously have no respect for my religion, and think that I am wasting my life away in chaos. Yeah yeah.

Thank God (pun intended?) there are still nice people in this world.

New Love

Oh, Faux Leather Jacket in forest green.
I heart thee.

看了都几想结婚了

今年

我和老婆已经认识十年了

三年恋爱

七年婚姻

仍然保持着恋爱的新鲜感

让身边的朋友羡慕不已

许多还在单身的MM和我们接触后

就有想快点找个人嫁的冲动

许多朋友问我们怎么结婚七年了还这么好?

于是开始总结一些婚姻生活中的点点滴滴

每对恋人或夫妇的性格和相处方式

其实都不一定相同

以下内容可能适合、可能不适合

祝愿全天下有情人都能找到自己的幸福

婚后一定要时刻把结婚戒指戴在左手无名指上

佩戴结婚戒指明确表明了你的婚姻状态

同时也明确表明了你拒绝外来诱惑的坚定态度

两人一起出去参加饭局的时候

看到喜欢的菜又不好意思夹太多次的时候

可以互相夹给对方吃

经常参加另一半的朋友聚会

这样可以扩大社交圈

也可以增加许多共同的话题

单独在外要经常把另一半挂在嘴边

两人吵完架后

可以互换角色

再重复一遍刚才吵架的内容

保准你们笑破肚皮

从很久以前开始

谈话中“我们”出现的次数

超过了“我”的次数

在心爱的女人面前

越贱越快乐

男人工作再忙

也要承担一点家务

这是对家庭的责任

像我...

负责洗碗、洗衣服、倒垃圾

锁门、拿报纸这几项常规任务

还有许多临时任务

最多的临时任务就是找东西

许多人都讨厌洗碗

而我特别喜欢洗碗

看着一堆油腻的脏碗

逐渐被洗干净很有成就感

在她洗澡的时候

悄悄帮她把拖鞋换个方向

要刷牙的时候

帮她把牙膏挤好漱口水倒好

一些平时生活上的举手之劳虽然小

但是能一直让她感到温暖和贴心

和同事朋友聊天的时候

（特别是异性）

要经常把另一半挂在嘴边

亲身体会事实证明

可以与桃花绝缘

有空不妨参与另一半的工作

比如帮忙上网找资料、整理整理东西

一方面可以两人合作做点事情

另一方面了解另一半的工作

可以增加许多话题

夫妻之间不需要隐私

我们的电子邮件、msn、QQ密码互相都知道

有时需要帮忙收发邮件很方便

手机也经常互相借用

心里坦坦荡荡

有什么不能让对方知道的呢?

副驾驶的位子是老婆的专座

除非老婆批准

别的异性只许坐在后排

和朋友聊天得出这样的结论：

女人喜欢给家里订下许多规矩

例如每块毛巾的职责是什么

洗完澡一定要把水迹擦干净

上完厕所一定要把马桶盖盖上

一旦没有遵守就会说：

“和你说过多少遍了?怎么又犯?”

身为男人

应该有这样的自觉

如果安排有变

比如说要加班或是临时有约

必须要打电话报备一下

觉得有趣的对话或事情

不妨记录下来

日积月累

每隔半年或一年翻出来一起看看

重温一下快乐的时刻

乐趣无穷

昨天堵在南北高架的时候听电台

话题是道歉

有个听众来信说每次她一生气

老公就装身体不舒服

弄得她也不好发作

老公接着道歉、气就消了

听了不禁笑了

我也做过这种事

还挺管用

不过不能多用

还在单身的女人

不要抱怨怎么总是找不到成熟体贴的男人?

男人是要调教的

也许有天生就很体贴、很有责任感、善解人意的男人

但是那是极少数

被你找到的几率是很小很小的

大多数的男人是像我这样

脑子里少根筋的

是靠老婆从谈恋爱的时候

就开始不厌其烦苦口婆心经年累月地教导出来的

所以不妨眼界放宽

找个可造之材开始调教吧！

从小就被电视电影误导

觉得男主角如果事业未成

怕耽误了优秀的女主角

而忍痛分手是很有责任感

特自我牺牲、特酷的一种表现

错！错！错！

为了事业牺牲爱情才是自私

结婚誓言里不是写得清清楚楚吗?

不论贫穷或富有

不论疾病或健康都要在一起

这样的感情才经得起考验

如果等到你真的事业有成了

那看上你的人是爱你

还是爱你的财富和地位呢?

有时候在msn的时候

我帮她做了什么事

她说了句：“谢谢亲爱的”

我顿时警觉起来

怀疑老婆的账号被黑客盗用了

马上问一句：

“你真的是XX吗?”

老婆顿时怒：

“滚！”

我这才放心

要做一个有生活情调的女人

生活情调不只是爱打扮

在家里点个熏香而已

是能够不断发现生活中的新乐趣

并且分享和感染周围的人

老婆一直能发现生活中的乐趣

例如新的好餐馆、咖啡馆

插花、装修、旅游、找到好书、认识新朋友.....

让我们的生活一直有新鲜感

每天上班出门前

（以前是我出门比她早，现在是她出门比我早）

要和老婆吻别

这是一个好习惯

介绍一个两人可以玩的小游戏

只要一支笔、一张纸

轮流画东西让对方猜是什么

但是要说明猜的东西的范围

是成语、人名、地名、还是事件等等

不要担心自己画画水平烂

这与画画水平无关

而是与联想能力有关

无聊的时候玩

（坐火车坐飞机，平时在家也可以）

很有乐趣的哦！

男人不要以为沉默很酷

两个人在一起还是要多沟通比较好

有什么想法

对对方有什么意见

不要闷在肚子里

说出来对方才会知道

才有机会去改善

一个人生闷气只会越来越气

看看对方一副毫无知觉的样子更气

对解决问题毫无帮助

谈恋爱、包括婚后

都是需要很长一段时间去磨合的

小到生活习惯

大到脾气性格做事方式

都需要慢慢调整适应

这个磨合的过程会伴随无数的争吵和眼泪

但是这个过程越到后面

苦恼会越来越少

而幸福感会越来越强

我们恋爱三年、结婚七年

头七年可能都算磨合期

直到现在偶尔还是有小小的摩擦

但是总体感觉非常幸福美满

所以恋爱和婚姻中

只要不是原则性的大问题

小吵小闹还是不要轻易分手

一定要有耐心

好日子在后头呢！

说到以前吵架比较多的时候

经常是在深夜

因为关了灯

在黑暗中

精神就会集中在刚才发生的事情上面

但是我是个沾上枕头就很容易睡着的人

经常是老婆在愤愤不平和我算账的时候

忽然听到边上传来我香甜的打呼声

那叫一个怒啊！

她就会凑到我的耳边大喊一声：

“睡吧！”

（这个跟我俩很像..哈哈哈

经常我还在生气等着他来哄哄

就听到人家熟睡的鼾声

相当郁闷）

介绍男士们一个道歉的方法

以前我犯了错只会反复说

“对不起”、“我错了”、“原谅我吧”

老婆很不满意

后来她教我道歉三步曲：

第一步，陈述事实

今天我犯了什么错

第二步，说明理由

为什么会犯这个错

第三步，改正措施

以后有什么措施来确保不再犯同样的错

试验多次

效果不错

想起以前看到一个国外的调查

老婆最希望老公承担的家庭责任

有一条排名很高的是

“去查一下晚上家里传来的奇怪声音”

超有同感

夫妻间最宝贵的东西就是信任

说信任是“镇家之宝”也不为过

一旦一方有过背叛行为

哪怕后来另一方原谅了、和好了

信任感也已经大打折扣了

猜疑、不安、疑神疑鬼

就会开始出现在两人之间

要获得彼此的信任

就要做到不玩暧昧、不玩消失

让彼此的行踪、朋友、同事都大大方方地透明化

（我们做的都很好）

看事情不妨乐观点

遇到倒霉的事情心态也放平常一点

手机被偷了就想正好要换个手机

钱包被偷了就想破财消灾

感冒了就想正好可以休息两天

遇到堵车正好可以想想心事、听听广播

公司倒闭被遣散了就想终于可以开始创业

创业不顺利就想之前的30年人生太顺利了

孩子的幸福感取决于父母的幸福感

为了孩子

两人也要努力营造幸福的小家

喜欢两人开车去短途游

因为在路上

在一个封闭空间里

两人也不会看电视做家务

自然而然就会开始聊天

没话题可聊?

光是路上看到的东西就有许多可聊的

路上乱开车的新手

奇怪的车牌号

不太见到的车子

前面车子屁股上贴的标语

后座上的绒毛玩具

从后视镜里看到后面车上的司机在挖鼻屎都可以聊

还可以打开收音机听DJ在那里胡言乱语

猜想他/她是什么星座血型

这两天不太顺利

我和老婆会去庙里烧烧香

以前我从小受无神论的教育

一点也不相信宗教

宗教的书碰也不碰

近年来读书多了

觉得自己以前才叫迷信

你要批判一样东西

先要了解那样东西才有资格

接触了一些佛教的书籍以后

觉得佛教与其说是一种宗教

不如说是一种心态、一种信仰

教你看淡人生中的起伏

在虔诚祈愿的时候

坚定的信心也能帮助你达成心愿

要做成一件事

最重要的是自己要有信心、能坚持

不是吗?

再介绍一个两人能玩的游戏

什么道具都不需要

在心里想一个两人都知道的人物的名字

然后让对方提问来猜

提问只能是“是”或“不是”的问题

例如是男人吗?是中国人吗?是娱乐圈的人吗?

轮流猜

然后看谁猜出来用的问题最少

（这个我们总玩，效果很不错）

老婆很爱喝红酒

我觉得女人可以适当喝点红酒

一

对健康好

有利于心血管

睡前喝一点还帮助入睡

二

可以美容养颜

三

懂一点红酒知识的女人

会让人刮目相看

四

平时又多了样消遣

两人可以时常去泡吧听音乐

五

增添女人的爽朗气质

以前刚谈恋爱的时候

每天晚上老婆要听着我讲的故事才能睡着

一开始还挺得意

后来老婆告诉我：

“你讲的故事很无聊

所以很快就能睡着

如果故事很精彩就睡不着了”

（可爱呀...呵呵）

我对老婆印象最深刻的记忆是

有一次夜里家里厕所水管爆了

我正手足无措

犹豫是关水龙头还是关总闸的时候

穿着睡衣的老婆已经一手提一个拖把冲进厕所来了

那个刹那我脑子里就只有一个念头：

“娶老婆

一定要娶这样的女人”

两个人的性格、兴趣爱好、生活习惯不同都不是大问题

可以慢慢调整到彼此适应对方

但是大方向的价值观是否一致

决定了婚姻是否能幸福长久

你们能接受的道德底线是什么?

为了事业能够牺牲些什么?

为了家庭能够牺牲些什么?

这些不一定要正式讨论

通过日常的相处观察也能看得出来

..........................................................

我并没有看完， 因为有点长。

幸亏也没有要结婚的感觉（有感觉就惨了，因为没有对象）

不过好像挺有道理的， 就先收着吧。