LOL it seems like every time i blog, it's because i'm pulling an all-nighter.
Just had the weirdest moment ever.
Randomly read the blog of someone, a person who joined the same event as i did. But he was so low profile, i never noticed him.
As i read his blog, i realized...we have so much in common.
The same writing style, the same interests.
We read the same blogs.
Same sense of humour.
Both having dry spell, lol.
Hopes, dreams, fears.
And yet, imagine. We've never uttered a word in passing, let alone exchanged a sentence.
There are so many people in this world, so many characters in this play called life. You could have been in the same room as your ideal best friend, and not know about it. You could have already let your Significant Other slip through the grasp of your fingers, blissfully unaware.
So what are you supposed to do?
Nothing, IMHO.
A small part of me believes in Fate. 缘分.
Tuesday, March 30, 2010
Tuesday, March 23, 2010
Late night ramblings
Yet another sleepless night rushing assignments.
I could be so much more efficient, but there is a severe lack of motivation to complete my work.
This is getting serious.
What i feel is so....unexplainable.
I'm irritated and frustrated by those who don't give sufficient commitment, thinking that they are very irresponsible. Yet inside i realize not everyone is as fanatical as i am about this. I shouldn't be expecting so much.
I have decided to forego my Thailand trip. Getting involved in this, being allowed this opportunity, it's only right that i make this sacrifice. Thailand is immobile, always waiting for me. This is now.
Still don't know what path i should be taking. It can be summarized into 3 main choices i guess. One is undesirable to me, one is forbidden by the parents, and one is scary and unpaved. Looking at the contrastingly blank page of June, i feel a mixture of relief and utter paranoia.
I refuse to be weak. I constantly joke around about it. It's hard to admit that it really bothers me. But looking at my priorities, how i choose to live my life, it seems like things aren't going to be changing for a while. It is worst when it hits you suddenly, when you panic and realize that yes, you are alone and there is nothing you can do about it.
I could be so much more efficient, but there is a severe lack of motivation to complete my work.
This is getting serious.
What i feel is so....unexplainable.
I'm irritated and frustrated by those who don't give sufficient commitment, thinking that they are very irresponsible. Yet inside i realize not everyone is as fanatical as i am about this. I shouldn't be expecting so much.
I have decided to forego my Thailand trip. Getting involved in this, being allowed this opportunity, it's only right that i make this sacrifice. Thailand is immobile, always waiting for me. This is now.
Still don't know what path i should be taking. It can be summarized into 3 main choices i guess. One is undesirable to me, one is forbidden by the parents, and one is scary and unpaved. Looking at the contrastingly blank page of June, i feel a mixture of relief and utter paranoia.
I refuse to be weak. I constantly joke around about it. It's hard to admit that it really bothers me. But looking at my priorities, how i choose to live my life, it seems like things aren't going to be changing for a while. It is worst when it hits you suddenly, when you panic and realize that yes, you are alone and there is nothing you can do about it.
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Friday, March 12, 2010
Hello 2010
Ooops...it's already 2010.
My new year resolutions? I never make them. Maybe because i'm afraid i won't fulfil them.
Right now i'm in confused state. Confused about what i'm going to do with my life. What is the next step?
This semester i've been spending more time at dance department than in my own faculty. And i do feel more at home here. I can be myself, and do what i love. Being in econ fac is so....constraining. I don't LOVE it.
The parentals want me to furthur my studies. But i don't see the point, because no matter how much i achieve academically, i know that i wil throw it away in an instant to pursue my dreams.
What are my dreams? i don't know specifically.
I know that i want to dance.
Bellydance?
Not that sure actually.....i am not practicing, so perhaps i don't exactly have the passion for it.
Contemporary?
Not good enough.
Hip hop?
The lifespan of my career will be short, and i don't exactly have something unique to offer.
Add in unnecessary feelings of people, feeling alienated from those attached, alienating myself for no apparent reason, assignments i don't have the motivation to complete...
Welcome to my last semester of studies.
4 weeks left.
My new year resolutions? I never make them. Maybe because i'm afraid i won't fulfil them.
Right now i'm in confused state. Confused about what i'm going to do with my life. What is the next step?
This semester i've been spending more time at dance department than in my own faculty. And i do feel more at home here. I can be myself, and do what i love. Being in econ fac is so....constraining. I don't LOVE it.
The parentals want me to furthur my studies. But i don't see the point, because no matter how much i achieve academically, i know that i wil throw it away in an instant to pursue my dreams.
What are my dreams? i don't know specifically.
I know that i want to dance.
Bellydance?
Not that sure actually.....i am not practicing, so perhaps i don't exactly have the passion for it.
Contemporary?
Not good enough.
Hip hop?
The lifespan of my career will be short, and i don't exactly have something unique to offer.
Add in unnecessary feelings of people, feeling alienated from those attached, alienating myself for no apparent reason, assignments i don't have the motivation to complete...
Welcome to my last semester of studies.
4 weeks left.
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