Prevent Fugliness

My mum cut this article out some time ago because every time she called me in the afternoon while at college i was asleep, so she knew i was sleeping late. Now i'm using it to make you worry.

*click to enlarge*

For those who can't read Chinese/suffer from astigmatism, here's a rough translation of the important bits :

9-11 pm : Lymph nodes detoxify, should relax
11-1 am : Liver detoxifies, should be in deep sleep
1-3 am : Pancreas detoxifies, ditto above
3-5 am : Lungs detoxify. Also why ppl cough the most during this period. Should not take any coughing medicine as this will affect the detoxifying
5-7 am : Intestines detoxify, best time to go shit
7-9 am : Maximum absorption of nutrients by small intestines, should eat breakfast. Sick ppl should eat earlier(before 6.30), healthy ppl before 7.30.
12-4 am : Maximum production of blood cells, should be asleep at this time

Scared or not?

If you don't know how vital this is, let me put it this way.
If you are nocturnal, you will look fugly.

You at age 30

Oh no, i used to sleep late. In fact in college i liked going on studying sprees before exams by studying from midnight till 9 or 10am. But i had no choice, because my 3 other roommates have a habit of studying at night. So if i slept normally it meant i would have to sleep with all 3 lights on and feel like a lazy bum bum. Cis!

Oh yeah, i remember reading somewhere that 11pm-1am is the most important time to be asleep, because maximum 'xing chen dai xie'(cell regeneration) goes on at that time. And if you really busy and don't have enough time, choose this time to sleep as the rest you get is equivalent to about 4 hours of rest at any other time.

Also heard from a doctor that it's best to have a shit during late afternoon or before sleep if you can manage, so that the toxins from your poop won't be re-absorbed by your intestines as it travels. So you should shit twice a day : once in the morning and once before sleep.

Who so geng can control their bowels?

In a nutshell, sleep early if you don't want to look like auntie.

Cats & Dogs

Received this joke in an email some time ago. Don't know who the author is but it's really funny. Two thumbs up!

Excerpts from a Dog's Diary
===========================
8:00 am - Dog food! My favourite thing!
9:30 am - A car ride! My favourite thing!
9:40 am - A walk in the park! My favourite thing!
10:30 am - Got rubbed and petted! My favourite thing!
12:00 pm - Lunch! My favourite thing!
1:00 pm - Played in the yard! My favourite thing!
3:00 pm - Wagged my tail! My favourite thing!
5:00 pm - Milk bones! My favourite thing!
7:00 pm - Got to play ball! My favourite thing!
8:00 pm - Wow! Watched TV with the people! My favourite thing!
11:00 pm - Sleeping on the bed! My favourite thing!



Excerpts from a Cat's Diary
===========================
Day 983 of my captivity.My captors continue to taunt me with bizarre little dangling objects.They dine lavishly on fresh meat, while the other inmates and I are fed hash or some sort of dry nuggets. Although I make my contempt for the rations perfectly clear, I nevertheless must eat something in order to keep up my strength.

The only thing that keeps me going is my dream of escape.In an attempt to disgust them, I once again vomit on the carpet. Today I decapitated a mouse and dropped its headless body at their feet. I had hoped this would strike fear into their hearts, since it clearly demonstrates what I am capable of. However, they merely made condescending comments about what a "good little hunter" I am. Bastards!

There was some sort of assembly of their accomplices tonight. I was placed in solitary confinement for the duration of the event. However, I could hear the noises and smell the food. I overheard that my confinement was due to the power of "allergies." I must learn what this means, and how to use it to my advantage. Today I was almost successful in an attempt to assassinate one of my tormentors by weaving around his feet as he was walking. I must try this again tomorrow -- but at the top of the stairs.

I am convinced that the other prisoners here are flunkies and snitches. The dog receives special privileges. He is regularly released - and seems to be more than willing to return. He is obviously retarded.

The bird has got to be an informant. I observe him communicate with the guards regularly. I am certain that he reports my every move. My captors have arranged protective custody for him in an elevated cell, so he is safe...for now...

"She wants you to meet her in the rainbow."

I have reached a new level of boredom.

I just finished re-painting my nails after painting them 2 days ago. Got sick of the black n silver swirly design. Now its metallic lime green with a dragonfly on my thumb. You should have a vague idea on how monotonous my life is when the only thing that happened was changing my nail polish.

Ooh, speaking of dragonflies,
has anyone watched a movie called 'Dragonfly'?

Starring a famous actor whose name i can't recall....and Kathy Bates i think.
Oh yeah, the actor is Kevin Costner.

"@%#*&%#, i just washed that window!"

Anyway, the movie is about this guy who's pregnant wife died while on a Red Cross mission in Venezuela. He's all sad and moping around when DumDumDum....he's late wife tries to communicate with him. He went to the children's ward in a hospice where his wife worked and the kid's start talking to him in his wife's voice. Then some kid keeps giving him drawings of dragonfly-shaped pics she drew. He's really convinced that his late wife is trying to convey something of importance. But what? Is he just insane? Is she speaking to him from beyond the grave? Or is she still alive? Watch to find out la!

I remember one scene that creeped me out so bad. Kevin Costner was packing his late wife's stuff in boxes, and the camera showed him putting a glass paperweight with a dragonfly carving in the box. The when he goes to bed he finds the thing on his bedside table. He freaks out, wraps the thing in newspaper and lots of tape, and puts it somewhere. When he comes back, horror of horrors, it's on his bedside table again!

At the end of that scene i was damn freaked out already.
Mainly because i was watching the movie alone in a pitch-black room.

The paperweight that moved

In short, this is a touching movie.
Watch it.

Flashback : High School Days Part 1

I think most of you would agree that the best years of our schooling life are our high school years, right?

Form 1 :

I entered 1 Jati. Quite unhappy cause i wanted to go to Catholic High like most of my Primary friends. My only ex-classmate there was Yuxin. Sat beside Pei Xian for a while, then when she left i don't remember who I sat with. Sook Koon was it you? Oh wait i sat with Siu Hoong & Yuxin. But i always sat behind with SK to chat. Said f*** too many times. Became good friends with Joaquim at the end of the year. Pei Kee i don't remember where you sat ler.

Form 2 :

Entered 2 Jati. Sat with Joaquim in front, with Pei Kee behind me. Only then did PK become one of my best friends. Got my first serious crush. Got rejected for the first time. Cried in school for the 1st time. Realised that 1 of my friends was a backstabbing b***h, but i don't think she realises it until now. Decided not to trust ppl so easily. Going out was so hard when we were 14. Had to plan a week before hand, ask permission, find transport...blablabla. Favourite entertainment was watching Siu Hoong & Yuxin argue. Life was good then.

The 3 of us in Michelle's house

The last few days of Form 2

Michelle's house again. i think it was on new years eve

Form 3 :

3 Jati. Became a prefect. Faced PMR. Scored. Regretted not taking Chinese but i don't like lar...Had fun in Fraser's Hill, too bad Joaquim didn't go. Jo how come you didn't go ar? Wall climbed for the first time. Miss-spelled the word 'guardian'. Didn't know what stream to pick, but picked pure science even though my mum suggested i took arts. I think i felt that my mum thought i wasn't as smart as my sister.

Pei Kee enjoying her bun

Cis, Joaquim is so photogenic

I'm shy la

"Look at the pretty photographer!"

I don't remember why i wore a t-shirt when everyone else was wearing uniform

This is Yuxin
Pei Xian came back for holiday

Our favourite past time



"Ha ha, give me the stupid camera la, stop taking my picture!"

Prefect's room. We painted that!

Roy B, don't pick your nose, i want to take your photo

Hi, Roy B

My "fat hau" look

The cutest bears from 2 of the cutest ppl

Part 2 coming soon!

Botherbotherbotherbother...

Hehehe.

Just remembered some funny animation i saw a few years back and decided to search for it. It's one of the Harry Potter Puppets videos.

Enjoy!

p.s : While you're there, check out "The Mysterious Ticking Noise" as well! Gosh i love it.

Snape, Snape, Severus Snape...

Flashback : Sri Sanggar Wirama

our official t-shirt design. SSW means ppl who gather at a place to entertain. i think.

you all know i love dancing right?
like, LOVE dancing.
going to matrix meant that i couldn't go to any dance class, boohoo.
so i decided to join the Kebudayaan team for KAKOM.

KAKOM is this competition between all the matrix colleges.
it's damn cool cause there is only 1 college per state.
so i'm automatically state representative, hoho.

i feel i was mis-led.
the flier regarding the kebudayaan audition said that they were looking for CONTEMPORARY and TRADITIONAL dancers. so i thought ok, can try.

i went and was the first one there. even though it was already 5.10pm.
it was suppose the start at 5.00pm.

you see, ppl there have a different time concept.
if an event is suppose to start at 5, ppl will start arriving at 5.20
so if you want an event to start at 5, you have to tell ppl that it starts at 4.30

anyway, when everyone arrived, En. Syam played this Malay/Arabian sounding music, and told us we had to dance to it on stage.

i was thinking : "what about the contemporary?"

3 ppl auditioned at a time.
some dance their Malay dance.
some just swung their hands and walk about.
some stoned cause they were so embarrassed.

i was still thinking : "what about my contemporary?"

oh yeah i forgot to mention.
initially there were 3 or 4 Chinese girls there.
when En. Syam announced that we would dance on stage, i turned around to talk to one of them.

but they were all gone.

wah liaw, cabut so fast.

i was still wondering what I'm going to do on stage.
should i shake my ass?
but that's like clubbing.
maybe it's considered lucah for them.

then when my name was called, my brain was going

"shit shit shit shit"
"howhowhowhowhow"

don't care la.
i went up there and shook like Shakira.
did body rolls summore.
the other 2 girls stared at me like i have 3 heads.

that audition was only the beginning though. maybe everyone danced like shit so there was a 2nd audition for those still interested. this one even worse. called 1 by 1 into a room with 3 teachers.

m****.

i was the 1st one called. shooot. they played the Malay/Arabian song again. then halfway through En. Syam stopped the music and said that i was more a contept dancer than traditional dancer.

so he played some Siti Nurhaliza song for me.
then i danced like MTV hip-hop.
ahahahaha.
not what they expected.

when the list of successful candidates came out, i was not in it.
but they put me in anyway cause he said i have potential.

but it wasn't over yet.
after a few weeks there was another audition.
so for a few weeks i was always worrying that i would be kicked out.
cause i know zilch about traditional dance.

then i made the team.

SSW in the dewan serbaguna.

we were trying to do sexy pouty lips. but my lips 'cau gan' cause the cameraman took so long

we were obviously very bored

practicing gambus

we practiced was hell.my day was like this.

8.00am : class

4.00pm : class finish

5.00pm : go to Ipoh for practice
11.00pm : back at college
12.30am : finished bathing and washing clothes, attempting to complete homework
1.00am : faint on the bed in exhaustion

everyday.

naturally i didn't finish my homework.
i think i didn't do chem tutorial for 2 months.
which explains my horrible results.

come August 2006, it was off to KMPh!

The Walk. i don't know what it's called so i call it The Walk. like the parade of each nations athletes during Olympics.

cafe in KMPh. they have like a zillion cafes there. AND a mini market. AND a starbucks kind of cafe.

ppl who join KAKOM get a lot of free stuff.

• jacket
• 3 kakom shirts, plus 2 kebudayaan shirts
• cap
• bag
• pants
• towel (in a blinding hi-lighter yellow colour)
• free camp in Lumut

I'm still waiting for my KAKOM panties.

yup, your mama and papa's income tax is used to buy useless clothes in the wrong sizes so no one wears them anymore.

no wonder the government always says 'No money, no money" when the ppl complain.

cause your mama's tax was used to buy me trackpants that make my legs look exactly 5 inches long.

My favourite part of kebudayaan : The Makeup

make up treasure box

Abang Fendi applying make up. i heard the college paid him RM 50 per face. there were 22 faces. don't you wish you were a make up artist?

the guys in action. this part was cool. like silat.

before the 1st performace. can you spot me?

there were 2 performances. first performance we tied with KMPh at 1st place. 2nd night they got higher marks so we got 2nd place. but some still say it's not fair, cause their the host. and the host almost always gets 1st.

taking a break from supporting other events. our event is at night so we usually go to support all the others. like a travelling cheer group.

En. Syam & Miss Husna

i think she was trying to kill him. or he was going to kill himself first. either way they look adorable.

innai

taken during our farewell barbecue. Lat trying to be a ballerina.

So long, SSW.

Flashback : P2 T1 31 - May 06

A tour of my temporary home for the past year.

my front door. penguin sponsored by Soh Yong. paper coloured by both of us.

A closer look. this was one of the few rooms where there were 4 in a room cause many ppl left half-way through the programme.

Where we put our shoes. we had to wear toe covering shoes to class. bleargh. only discovered there was a way around it during sem 2.

Hanim, Moon, Lixin, Soh Yong

Hanim : very quiet and lady-like. even her sneezing is lady-like. but i doubt we exchanged more than 10 sentences. never clicked la.

Moon : haha, opposite of Hanim. daaamn noisy. sometimes too noisy. has a knack of gossiping every night and repeating her stories again and again. but i like her a lot, she's very straight-forward.

Soh Yong : too much to say about her la. I'll leave it for another post.

my posters that i forgot to bring back.. :(

"yi chun guang yin yi chun jing, chun jing nan mai chun guang yin". been trying to tell myself that for ages but never really worked. that's my student card hanging on the left

btw, look at the pink paper thingy in the pic (you can click in the pic to have a closer look at his handsome face)

its...get this...a name card that one of the lecturers handed out to us.kinda like those kind of lame name cards we gave friends in primary school.

yup..he's THAT boh liao.

should i tell you his name?

i dunno..scared that he might google his name, cause he's the kind of person who would do crap like that.have loads to say about him though. where do i start?

he became my 2nd chemistry lecturer during Sem 1.
the first one had transferred, and she was inadequate, to say the least..so when he entered we all thought...thank god, we have a decent lecturer at last.

little did we know...

aih.

first, he doesn't use notes when teaching.

you might think, ok what, we should learn not to be spoon-fed all the time.

but in matriculation, the syllabus is so packed and time is so limited.

we literally finish a chapter per week.

then without notes, he jumps here and there,

until we don't know what the crap he's talking about.

then he likes to write on the OHP thing without putting transparency first.cause he thinks it makes him so pro.

he said and i quote : "semua lecturer yg paling terror dlm uni semua masuk kuliah dgn membawa marker pen shj."

ya, all lecturer yg terror.

meaning not you la, f***er, what do you think you are doing without transparency?

and even if he was so pro, that's a very selfish pig-headed thing to do.cause all the other lecturers will have to deal with a black, dirty OHP.cause he doesn't even bother to bring a duster or tissue.

ok la, i admit that he is good in drawing mind maps.and he is quite smart.but that doesn't give him an excuse to talk like he's the best thing to ever happen to KMPk.

oh, oh, the best part!

he has this cam-whoring fetish.

i think it gives him orgasms.

i remember one time when he spent half of our lecture period showing pictures he took during some trip.another time he made everyone stay back to take pictures.then he prints them out, and paste them all over his cubicle.

Soh Yong said she went to his cubicle once, and every inch was filled with pics.there were also pics of some girls.then her tutorial mates asked him who they were.and our wonderful lecturer admitted he didn't even know them, he just likes putting up photos of 'perempuan yg comel'...

everyone say with me now.

Eiiyerrr.

that narcissic, ham sap freak.

amazingly, some "ma xiao ling's"(what i call malay girls) actually like him.the one time i went to his cubicle with Pheng Yoke, there was a girl who was helping him setup a Friendster account.

i bet she was secretly cursing us for interrupting them, haha.

i must have a lot of 'yuen fen' with him.cause i got him for lab during Sem 2, and we thought we were doomed...but it turned out to be a blessing in the end.he doesn't even care what we do.

lab would start with him talking about how we should learn through experiments, which means he won't have to talk about the procedures.then we would take our radas and pretend to do experiment, magically finishing in half an hour. then we sit and chat till he lets us off halfway through lab period.

i think if we actually did the experiments the lab would blow up due to lack of guidance.

But i digress.

my tiny table. i hate using my table cause i like to spread out all my stuff when working.

Which is why : my bed has become my table

genius right? now i have ample space to spread out my stuff. the flat black thing beside my calculator is my speakers. cause i can't do homework without music.

malangnye, this arrangement also means that i have to sleep on the floor.

my mattress on the floor

my locker when it was half empty. oh well, at least it's better than the NS one. this one is the kind found in Chinese primary school classrooms.



p.s : was browsing around YouTube, and i found the moral video done by Chee Wung and gang!enjoyed watching it for the 2nd time, it's really good. too bad the part about gangsters in shorts was cut off.quite blur though. *click*