Late night ramblings

Yet another sleepless night rushing assignments.
I could be so much more efficient, but there is a severe lack of motivation to complete my work.

This is getting serious.

What i feel is so....unexplainable.
I'm irritated and frustrated by those who don't give sufficient commitment, thinking that they are very irresponsible. Yet inside i realize not everyone is as fanatical as i am about this. I shouldn't be expecting so much.

I have decided to forego my Thailand trip. Getting involved in this, being allowed this opportunity, it's only right that i make this sacrifice. Thailand is immobile, always waiting for me. This is now.

Still don't know what path i should be taking. It can be summarized into 3 main choices i guess. One is undesirable to me, one is forbidden by the parents, and one is scary and unpaved. Looking at the contrastingly blank page of June, i feel a mixture of relief and utter paranoia.

I refuse to be weak. I constantly joke around about it. It's hard to admit that it really bothers me. But looking at my priorities, how i choose to live my life, it seems like things aren't going to be changing for a while. It is worst when it hits you suddenly, when you panic and realize that yes, you are alone and there is nothing you can do about it.